Squaretable Seminars

I.

The twin isn’t here this year, had some trouble at school so their mama wouldn’t let him come.
But the other one’s here with his I’m-thirteen-I-do-what-I-want attitude and a devious grin
that would melt your heart - if you couldn’t see what was hiding behind his back.
He’s the leader ‘cause he’s the oldest and if it weren’t for that it would be for his looks
that the girls won’t stop giggling over so he plays them up, struts like the pimp of kings.
So on the one hand you’re grateful that once he listens they all listen, but on the other hand
you're damned when he wants to prove it and throws a little man-tantrum for good measure.
He starts the fists to fighting, but wants you to stop them before he might get hurt,
makes you laugh or roll your eyes when all you want to do is kick his adolescent ass.
When he’s not too busy being tough enough he’ll volunteer to be somebody’s buddy
for a bathroom break, and you say okay but secretly you watch him as they walk away,
decode his pat on the other boy’s back, gauge which smartass look is on his face,
track the time they spend behind the door and finally let your calves ease to parade rest
when they trounce out a minute later and no one’s scared and no one’s guilty this time.


II.

The next-to-littlest one
is real cute.
Bony arms
stick out his tshirt;
bruises and scrapes
map his skin
like war paint.
He shies at first,
but does what you say
when you say it,
a mini G.I.
John Doe
with two front teeth
missing.
He gives anything
a whirl
and won’t shutup
once you listen.
A high five
is all he needs
to make his day.
He follows you
like you’re his
sugar high,
so ready
to take your word
like you mean it.


III.

He’s pudgy and freckled and sweet
when the meds win the day,
but when the anger focuses for him
he just snaps like a guitar string,
can only see the toreador’s cape.
He says he’s sorry
and cries on your shoulder
later when you talk about ways
to keep his cool, but the rage that builds up
has more experience
than the calm.
He smiles at the dirt stain
until his demons take over.


© Hannah Walleser